Linda is back this month to keep all our readers updated on her very brave battle with breast cancer…
I’m struggling to be particularly positive at the moment and do feel that I have very little energy or mojo in me… so forgive me if this article isn’t as upbeat as my previous ones. It has been weeks since I have put pen to paper and I haven’t even kept up with writing in my Journal. I didn’t have the mental strength last month to write, not only because I was just out of my surgery but also because the day I came out of hospital, another family member was taken seriously ill and our family are dealing with and coming to terms with this news still.
So at the end of the last article I had just found out that I was being sent straight to surgery before completing the last of my chemotherapy treatment. My surgery was on 1st April and following my consultations with the Breast Surgeon we agreed the best option was to have a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. With all breast surgery they also remove the first few lymph nodes, which is referred to as a sentinel node biopsy. They inject a radioactive substance, a blue dye, or both, near the tumour to locate the position of the sentinel lymph node. A device is then used to find the sentinel node or looks for lymph nodes that are stained with the blue dye. Once the sentinel lymph node is located, an incision is made under the armpit and the nodes removed.
I was admitted to F5 at 7am and felt calm and relaxed throughout the morning practicing some deep breathing and a little Qi Qong. However, it was a different story when they came to wheel me down to theatre! All set with thick black pen markings, lovely hospital gown and stockings on, I was on my way down to theatre when the tears started. It wasn’t my best look when the rather handsome Anesthetist walked round the corner to see me. I wasn’t concerned with the operation then – more about where was my hair and make up at this precise time!
I woke up in recovery and after some time there, returned to the ward about 5.30pm where I tucked into my banana, nuts and seeds and bottled water that I had bought with me before my family came to visit. I was pretty woozy from the surgery and had low blood pressure all evening as well as a little retention in my ankles and arms. The following day the staff monitored my blood pressure and as soon as it started to rise, I was able to go home. Generally I wasn’t in too much pain so didn’t have to rely on the painkillers too often thankfully. I had a lovely attractive drain complete with a little bag (matching the hospital curtain material). Note to self when completely recovered to make some ‘pretty’ material ones for the breast clinic. My new little drain friend ‘Doris’ had to stay in for 10 days as I was collecting quite a lot of fluid. I would sometimes forget that ‘Doris’ was attached to me and would get up and start walking to realise that she was trailing behind me! So the first couple of weeks, whilst getting used to having a foreign object in my body and all the issues that I had with the surgery from it (which I am sure you don’t want me to go into), were relatively ok with a few trips back and forth to the hospital for various issues. I then returned to the Breast Clinic on the 15th April for my results.
I hadn’t even contemplated that the lymph nodes would have been affected as all my scans where showing clear. So you really could of knocked me over with a feather when my Consultant told me the news that the biopsy had tested positive for cancer on all 4 of my lymph nodes that were taken. I think the shock of this news hit me harder than when I received the initial diagnosis. The upshot of this was that I was to undergo another surgery the following week to remove all of the lymph nodes from my armpit otherwise knows as axillary clearance. Of course since all of this has happened I was thinking, why isn’t there someway of avoiding having to have 2 surgeries if the lymph nodes are cancerous. I have since read up that there is a National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) sentinel lymph node test for surgeons to use during the operation. It works by picking up a protein marker, which is linked to breast cancer. This protein is not normally found in healthy lymph node tissue. The test gives results in about half an hour, so the surgeon can decide during the initial operation if they need to remove the other lymph nodes. This means that you avoid a second operation. I am assuming this isn’t being carried out at West Suffolk Hospital as yet! I wish it was, as suffice to say, having one major operation is traumatic enough, but to undergo a second so soon whilst still recovering is not ideal! So it was back to F5 again and the lovely hospital stockings. This time round there wasn’t the tears and I had a lovely team of female Anesthetists to reassure me. After my second surgery I was even more sore, stiff and numb – particularly arm and shoulder area and on more antibiotics. The numbness in my arm to date is incredibly sensitive with what I can only describe as an intense burning sensation and if someone accidentally touches it or goes to give me a hug it feels horrible! I believe this is from nerve damage and it will be hit and miss as to whether the numbness will completely go and the nerves regenerate themselves. Having had this procedure you are at a risk of developing Lymphedema too, which is treatable, but not curable. In brief the lymphatic system is made up of lymphatic vessels (similar to blood vessels) and lymph nodes (glands) that extend throughout the body. The number of lymph nodes you have in your armpit may be as few as ten or less, to over thirty. It helps maintain the balance of fluid in the body by draining excess fluids from the tissues of the body and returning it to the blood system. The lymph nodes also filter any unwanted materials such as bacteria to help prevent infection. I have to be extra careful not to get the arm infected by any cuts or burns, I can’t use a razor or hair removal cream, when going abroad you have to avoid getting insect bites and when flying I need to wear a compression sleeve. As well as this my sun protection factor will have to be increased so as not to burn! I am keeping an eye on the measurements of both my arms and looking for any swelling, which could be a sign of Lymphedema. I have also been shown some lymphatic draining massage techniques, which I can use to help reduce the risk.
I returned to the Clinic on 6th May for my results, which unfortunately showed that the majority of the lymph nodes removed tested positive for Cancer. I am now waiting to see my Oncologist on the 20th May to discuss the next stage of treatment that they want me to have…Radiation. Not only to the chest wall but also to the collarbone. Previously my thought process was that once the Cancer had been removed I would be doing everything in my power to support my system instead of going through any more conventional treatment afterwards. Now that it is in the Lymph nodes I am not sure what to do for the best. What is frustrating is that there is no way of knowing if it has spread to any other parts of the lymphatic system in my body. So why ‘burn’ the collarbone if it has perhaps surpassed that area?! Surely in this day and age of technology there is a test available that can detect where the Cancer is in the lymphatic system?! Immensely frustrating and of course not great for me living in fear of not just recurrence but now the spread of it to other organs in the future. By the next article I will know more and have made an informed decision.
The road to recovery has been impinged since having to have the second operation and I have less movement in my arm and shoulder but am completing my regime of exercises to help regain the range of motion. I have also suffered from Seroma’s under the armpit (build up of fluid in the cavity that my lymph nodes were in), and have been back to the clinic to have these drained by needle aspiration. The first one felt and looked like a golf ball under my arm!
Moving away from the operations and issues surrounding them and onto Hair. I lost my eyebrows and eyelashes two weeks after my last chemotherapy. Can you believe it! I managed to hang on to them all the way through only to lose them after completing my sessions! How unfair was that! Thankfully they are now growing back again so I have avoided wearing any make up, as I want to give them the chance to gain some strength. Of course all the unwanted hair is coming back fast and growing quickly…but the hair on my head – that’s another story. My natural hair colour was mid brownish with some greys (emphasis on some!). That is NOT what is growing back now – oh no …. what I have now is a mix of the ‘salt and pepper’ look with more of the salt – 50 shades of grey! A female version of George Clooney perhaps..?! Celebrity ‘A’ listers may be rocking the Grey look this season but if my normal hair colour doesn’t return when it starts growing back more, I will have to start looking at chemical free organic hair dyes! On the subject of hair, as its now coming into Summer I popped in to see Steve at Stephen John Hair Salon recently and after much discussion and trying on various short wigs I now have a lovely bobbed style one with a fringe in some lighter hair colour tones for the summer. My long wigs are lovely, but I think may be a little too hot to wear in the heat – assuming we get some sunshine this year!
I won’t be sporting many open toe shoes this summer. The nails on both my toes and hands are not in great shape at all and I’m pretty much losing the majority of the nail bed. I know it makes one of my close friends cringe when I show her!
On my Nutrition side, I am continuing with my regime and have incorporated a few more supplements post surgery to help aid recovery – particularly Vitamin E, Zinc and Arnica to help with reducing the bruising. I have a cream for the scars, which has Vitamin E and Calendula in to help reduce scaring. I’ve also started to take Aloe Vera Aborescens food supplement to help boost the immune system. Having recently had a tummy bug and another cold and cough I clearly still have a lot of work to do on supporting and building my immune system back up.
In terms of my social life, I attended a Cancer Research Fundraising Evening a week after my second surgery with some of my close friends and managed to stay out till 11pm, which is a first! Thankfully Doris was removed a couple of days previous so she wasn’t my accessory for the evening. My Aunt and Cousin came over from Ireland for a long weekend to help celebrate my Mum’s birthday. Seeing them was lovely and gave me a great boost and I look forward to catching up with them again soon I hope.
I have also booked a couple of holidays for later in the year and will be off to the Amalfi Coast in Italy for a few days and then NY & Boston for a long weekend. Am hopeful that I am physically on the mend by then! I would also like to go on a Yoga retreat somewhere so will look into that too as I haven’t been able to doing any physical exercise for some time now aside from my little walks! I may also invest in a 4-wheel case as lifting anything heavy is out of the question for the rest of my life now due to the lymph node removal. Speaking of lifting heavy items, I have just received delivery of my new lightweight cordless GTech hoover. Poor Henry hoover will be taking a break for some time now…he’s just too heavy for me to use now!
Overall the last 7 months have passed quickly in terms of time, but I would say that as time goes by, the whole process of what I am going through seems to be getting tougher – both physically and mentally. I know people have said that the treatments are nearing an end and that it will soon all be over and I can get on with my life, but I think the Journey is only just beginning in lots of ways and that very few will understand this unless they have experienced it themselves. I will however, continue to deal with it one day at a time with a positive attitude as much as I can muster!
‘Scars show us where we have been – They do not dictate where we are going” – David Rossi
